Disciplinary and Grievance policies

Disciplinary and Grievance policies Question 4: Asses the importance of having effective Disciplinary and Grievance policies and procedures in place within an organization. Response: Importance of having effective disciplinary and grievance policies. In order to run an organization properly, it is of vital importance that there should be an effective and well defined procedure for the employees discipline and grievance policies, so that in case of any problem, both parties have a proper guideline to follow to resolve any issue. While working in an organization, an employee sometimes, may violate some discipline procedures of company and depending on the seriousness of the violation, these disciplinary and grievance policies and procedures guide us how to resolve these issues, according to the guidelines, defined in these policies just like Grievance which is very common being difference of opinion over a matter. Such violations could be treated according to the nature of the misconduct, being minor, serious or gross. In fact, grievances is equally serious as discipline since these differences of opinion are usually more difficult to settle, just like discipline issues like seniority problems including promotion transfers and layo ffs. If we have a well defined and proper policies and procedures, related to such issues, then we can solve them according to the guidelines provided in these policies and procedures. The word organization means to keep in order to manage or to organize something so from the definition of organization, it link with discipline and grievance policies and planning is quite evident. Without discipline and grievance and careful planningthe organization cant be effective planning is actually a policy it is a statement to a directive for the development. The policy plays a pivotal role in influencing any type of organization .it is the result of a long strenuous deliberation made on various forums it provides a conceptual frame work and also a plan of action for any organization so the success and the climax of organization depends greatly upon the discipline and grievance policy procedure policy procedure also aims at achieving specific development goals of any organization is a continuous systematic process and the initial step in plan formulation of any organization without the policy procedure the aims and objects of organization cant be identified or achieved in a true sense of words. Thus discipline and grievance policy procedure go hand in hand in the way of progress of any organization. They enable the members of organization to create conductive and comfor table environment because disruption can create multifarious problems and they are hurdles in the way of progress. The survival of an undisciplined and unplanned organization is not at all possible. The effectiveness of policy procedure depends upon the careful planning and thinking of policy makers. It is necessary for every organization to plan the policies and to implement these policies in the best possible way. Without policy procedure there would be chaos and there would not be defined objectives to achieve. It is very well said that failing to plan actually means planning to fail so the strength and progress of the organization totally depends upon pure planning policy procedure and civilization. It is the collective effort of the planners policy makers and administration to do efforts for the development of organization. Single individual cant make it strong or power full. We can easily conclude that laws and rules for fabricated for safety of life and property. If someone violates a red traffic signal so he is fined whereas the purpose of red signal is to stop and wait for the green signal that is your safety and safety of your car. Violation of red signal it may cause some serious accident causing damage of life and your vehicle as well. In order to realize the importance of having effective disciplinary and grievance policies, we need to have a look on the basic reasons which causes these disciplinary and grievance issues, separately. Firstly, let us view grievance issues and then disciplinary issues laterly: Grievance related issues: From a practical point of view it is probably easier to list those items that dont precipitate grievances than to list the ones that do. Employees may use just about any factor involving wages hours or condition of employment as the basis of grievance. However, certain grievances are more serious since they are usually more difficult to settle. Seniority problems including promotion, transfers and layoffs would top this list, other would include grievance growing out of job evaluation and work assignment, overtime, vacations ,incentive plans and holidays. A grievance is often a symptom of an underlying problem. Some time bad relationships between supervisors and subordinates are to blame. This is often the cause of grievances over fair treatment for instance. Organizational factors such as automated job or ambiguous job description that frustrate or aggravate employees also cause of grievances, Discipline related issues: Discipline means the observance of certain well-defined rules. Without such regulation it is not possible to maintain humanness. Such regulation contributes to the glory of human existence. Disciplinary issues are concerned with any infringement of regulations, policies or procedures, or any failure to meet the required standards of behaviour, conduct, performance or attendance or failure to respond to previous written warnings, prolonged or repeated acts of misconduct. Examples may include theft, fraud (including attempts to commit theft or fraud) or other criminal activities, deception, serious breaches of confidentiality, gross professional negligence or misconduct or misrepresentation, serious misuse of or malicious damage to trust property or equipment or bringing the organisation into disrepute. What is the importance of disciplinary and grievance procedures? Disciplinary and grievance procedures tells a clear rules to deal with difficulties which may grow as part of their working relationship from either the employer or from the employees . It is necessary that everybody is treated in the same way in similar situation, to ensure issues are deal with fairly and reasonably and that they are accommodating with current policies and procedures. Why Grievance procedures are needed: * To provide employees with a course of action that they have a complaint (which they are unable to decide through regular communication with their senior manager). * To provide points of contact and timescales to resolve problems. * To try to resolve problems without alternative to other employment. Why Disciplinary procedures are needed: * Employees know what is expected from them in terms of standards of performance and the possible penalties in case of not completing these requirements. * To recognize difficulties to each employee obtaining the required standards such as training requirements, shortage of clearness of job requirements, additional support and take suitable action. * As an opening to agree suitable goals and timescales for development in an employees performance or behavior. * To try to solve problems and difficulties without going to an employment tribunal. Importance of Grievance and Disciplinary policies and procedures for the employees Grievance and disciplinary policies and procedures are equally important for employees as, it provides them guidance and job security, which in result, increase the efficiency of the organization. It is the duty of the organization (HRM Department) to provide a note book in which all these policies are clearly written for the guidance of employees so that they should be well aware of the organizational rules and regulations, and in case of violation of these rules, employee could be aware of the fact and should be ready for explanation or punishment according to the severity of violation. And in case of any injustice, employee could know about his rights and how he can get them. In general, these policies protect employees. The aims of these procedures include helping and encouraging employees to improve. If a decision is taken against an employee due to some misconduct and if the employee is not satisfied with the decision taken by the organization against him, he should be allowed to appeal in a higher panel. These grievance and disciplinary policies and procedures protects the employees and other side it provide the limits. The main importance of these procedures and policies to bring the improve and betterment in the conduct of the employees. In the some strict organizations some time different types of disputes are arises between the employees and the organization gave the employees heavy punishments and ignores the rules and regulations. The employees may suffer a big loss. And these policies and procedures at that time will helps the employees. With help of this policies we can enforce the employees to obey the laws and regulation of the company .when the employees knows the laws and procedures then they do not want to violates the company laws .In this way the employees can work without any fear. With the help of this we can increase the efficiency of the employees. The effective grievance Disciplinary policies and procedures tells how to deal in the difficult situation that is usua lly occurs in the organization. A good and effective policies and procedures give the job security to the employees of the organization. And the other side it permits that all employees should obey the law and regulation of the organization. On the basis of this, employee feels security and satisfaction in the organization. Importance of Grievance and Disciplinary policies and procedures for the employers These grievance and disciplinary policies and procedures are comparatively more important for the employers as a fair and comprehensive disciplinary procedure is necessary to deal with employees who deviate from these standards. The purpose of such a system is not just impose punishments on employees but also to assist employees improve performance or conduct with the exception of Gross or Serious misconduct. Examples of misconduct should be clearly written in the given notebook to employees. Employees are expected to seek guidance where they are unsure of what is permitted. The need for satisfactory standards of performance and behaviour from employees is essential for all organisations and these standards are set by the HRM department of the organisation. Dismissal should only occur when all other efforts have failed. When misconduct is suspected, the organization will use this procedure to investigate and take any resulting action, including dismissal in the most serious cases. Disciplining the employees is not commonly appreciated by staff, but on the other hand it is important to the overall well being of an organisation that it is carried out correctly. As it is the employer who is ultimately responsible for the behaviour of their employees, if misconduct goes unrebuked the whole organisation will suffer. An employee who misbehaves can upset the entire working environment, may cause good staff to leave and even bring the organisation into public disrepute. These grievance and disciplinary policies and procedures set the powers of the decision makers to handle any misbehaviour case. These policies protect the organization .it become compulsory for the organization to follow the policy because all rules and regulation are written in the note book .It is important for the organization when you handling the case you should follow the rules according to the policies .IT is also important all the steps should be fowled during handling the case .In the organiza tion some employees are senior some time they violates the law or rules .Then it became important for the organization to handle these case according to the policies are not but betterment of the organization is that to handle it according to the policies. Advantages of a Good Disciplinary Policy [1] A clear and effective disciplinary policy offers many benefits, including: * Clear guidelines for employee behavior. A straightforward, easy-to-understand disciplinary policy will tell your employees what you expect of them and what conduct you will not tolerate. Enforcing the policy in a uniform manner will show your employees that you take these rules seriously. * Good morale for other employees. Its true that the employee you discipline is not likely to enjoy a morale boost, but the rest of your workforce will. Other employees do not like to see a coworker getting away with poor, unproductive behavior while they work thanklessly at their jobs. And, if a problem employee is allowed to misbehave without suffering any consequences, others in the workforce will soon realize that they can get away with slacking off, too. * Protection against employee lawsuits. If you clearly inform your employees of the consequences of poor behavior and enforce your policy fairly, you will buy yourself some insurance in future disputes. It will be more difficult for an employee to argue that his or her termination was unjustified if you can show that you told your employees what conduct would result in discipline, and that this particular employee had been subject to prior disciplinary action. CONCLUION Discipline plays an important role in the any organization. Without discipline you cannot run any business. Every organization his own rules and disciplines it is the duty of the all employees to obey all the rules and regulation. Organizations should make such rules according to his environment. Strict discipline cannot achieve 100% result. If some employee breaks the discipline the company wants to give him punishment. According to the Collins 1995 suggests that punishment often fails to achieve the goals intended ,it hurts -emotional and mental pain .according to SALAMON 2000—argues that management continue to use punishment and reward to regulate the behavior of employees with the work place. Some time the old or senior employ unintentionally break them, the organizations should avoid them because they are seniors employ. Some time impacts on employee behavior are less likely to intentionally break the rules. In some organization strict discipline is very important just li ke hospitals Nuclear plants, Airlines. and in Forces. In these type of organization you should brief to the all employees about rules and regulations. In these companies strict discipline is very important .if you do not follow discipline. May be due to you the organization face irrecoverable loss or heavy loss. Strict disciplines sometimes lose the employee. GRIEVANCEs throws negative impacts in the organization. Due to this the company lose the loyalty of the employee and some time loses the good employee. In the big organization grievance normally take place. Good practice for management to identify dissatisfaction at early stage and deal with it fairly. It is the duty of the HRM department to solve all the matters related to grievance and discipline. And try to create loyalty of the employees. HRM department should understand the culture of the employee. In the European countries some organizations are very strict discipline and some are so soft. Good HRM departments solves all maters in a positive way. Problems with employees may arise from time to time in even the best-run businesses. Occasionally you may need to take disciplinary action against employees or deal with their grievances but its better to look at ways of preventing problems arising in the first place. If problems do arise, deal with them rather than let them fester into resignations and/or tribunal claims. Disciplinary and grievance procedures should be an aid to good management. Have clear written procedures and policies that are known and understood by all workers. Also, make sure you distinguish between discipline on conduct grounds and your procedure to improve performance though this may eventually require disciplinary action if performance does not improve. Organizations should set standards of performance and conduct reinforced by company rules. Problems when standards are not met or where grievances are raised by employees may often be dealt with informally but if a formal approach is needed then procedures help employers to be fair and consistent. Reference: [1] Wang, Hartmann, Gibbs Cauley, P.L.C. San Jose, CA www.whglawfirm.com 2. I have collected some data from internet, whom exact address I have forgotten.

Cultural Diversity In Local Politics Essays -- essays research papers

Cultural Diversity in Local Politics Overview This paper explores the limits and potentials of ethnic and racial coalition building in Los Angeles. The demographic changes that have occurred in Los Angeles during the past twenty years have been extraordinary, both in scope and diversity. The area has witnessed a literal boom in population growth, increasing from 7 million in 1970 to 8.8 million in 1990. (US Bureau of the Census) However, it is the dramatic change in ethnic and racial diversity of the population which has caught most observers attention. Los Angeles has taken on a new form in terms of its racial diversity, moving from a biracial to a multiethnic setting. The non-Hispanic White population has declined from its 71 percent share in 1970 to a narrow numerical plurality of 41 percent of the county's population in 1990. Meanwhile, the Latino and Asian Pacific population witnessed a doubling -- from 15% to 39% -- and near quadrupling – from 3% to 11% of their population shares respectively. Meanwhile, African Americans, while slightly growing numerically, were a constant share of the county population (11%) during this period. (Oliver and Johnson:57-94) Thus, on the eve of the twenty-first century, Los Angeles has one of the most ethnically diverse populations of any metropolitan area in the country. What does this ethnic diversity mean for multiethnic coalition building in the politics of Los Angeles County? Does the changing demography increase the opportunity for ethnic cooperation? Or, has the ethnic changes increased rather than decreased the prospects of interethnic conflict? Introduction After the 1992 riots, a clarion call was issued from all corners for the emerging multiethnic majority to take its rightful place in the politics and leadership of the city. A multiethnic coalition, it ws suggested, could lead the city to a new multicultural future. This call was clearly built on the assumption that three divers groups – African Americans, Asian Pacific Islanders and Latinos – could come together and pursue a coalition built on their common interests. But what do we do know about the prospects of multiethnic coalitions? There is voluminous literature on urban politics. However, this literature has been shaped principally by the question of racial politics. (Browning, Marshall and Tabb) That is, how have traditional urban politics,... ... California Press, 1984). Carmichael, Stokely, and Charles V. Hamilton, Black Power (New York: Vintage Books, 1967). Horton, John. "The Politics of Ethnic Change: Grass Roots Responses to Economic and Demographic Restructuring in Monterey Park, California," Urban Geography 10:6 (1989): 578-592. LASUI (Los Angeles Survey of Inequality) Focus Group Interviews, 1992. Oliver, Melvin L., and James H. Johnson, Jr., "Interethnic Conflict in an Urban Ghetto: The Case of Blacks and Latinos in Los Angeles," Research in Social Movements, Conflict, and Change 6 (1984): 57-94; US Bureau of the Census.. op. cit. Oliver and Johnson, see above; Also by Oliver and Johnson, "Interethnic Minority Conflict in Urban America: The Effects of Economic and Social Dislocations," Urban Geography 10 (1989): 449-463. Ramos, George and Tracy Wilkinson, "Unrest Widens Rifts in Latino Population," Los Angeles Times, May 8, 1992. Sonenshein, Rafael J., Politics in Black and White: Race and Power in Los Angeles (Princeton: NJ: Princeton University Press, 1993). US Bureau of the Census, Census of Population and Housing. (Washington, DC: US Bureau of the Census, 1970).

Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 1

The third book in the Love Story series, 2010 1. Hello Kitty BEING THE JOURNAL OF ABIGAIL VON NORMAL, Emergency Backup Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Night The City of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Which isn't, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass. Still, I think that this battle of dark powers; the maintenance of my steamy, forbidden romance; the torturous break-in of a new pair of red vinyl, thigh-high Skankenstein; platform boots; as well as the daily application of complex eye makeup and whatnot, totally justify my flunking Biology 102. (Introduction to Mutilation of Preserved Marmot Cadavers, with Mr. Snavely, who totally has his way with the marmots when no one is around, I have it on good authority.) But try to tell that to the mother unit, who deserves this despair and disappointment for cursing me with her tainted and small-boobed DNA. Allow me to catch you up, s'il vous plaà ®t. Pay attention, bitches, there will be a test. Three lifetimes ago, or maybe it was like last semester, because like the song says, â€Å"time is like a river of slippery excretions when you're in love†-anyway-during winter break, Jared and I were in Walgreens looking for hypoallergenic eye makeup when we encountered the beautiful, redheaded Countess Jody and her consort of blood, my Dark Lord, the vampyre Flood, who was totally disguised in jeans and flannel as a loser. And I was all, â€Å"Nosferatu.† Whispered to Jared like a night wind through dead trees. And Jared was all, â€Å"No way, you sad, deluded little slut.† And I was all, â€Å"Shut your fetid penis port, you spunk-breathed poseur.† Which he took as a compliment, so that's how I meant it, because while Jared is deeply gay, he's never really gayed anyone up, except maybe his pet rat, Lucifer. Strictly speaking, I think Jared would be considered a rodentsexual, if not for the difficult geometry of the relationship. (See, size does matter!) Note to self: I should totally set Jared up with Mr. Snavely and they can talk about squirrel-shagging and whatnot and maybe I won't have to repeat Bio 102. Anyway, Jared is a fitting support player in the tragedy that is my life, as he dresses dismal chic and excels at brooding, self-loathing, and allergies to beauty products. I've tried to talk him into going pro. ‘Kayso, the vampyre Flood had me meet him at a club, where I offered up myself to his dark desires, which he totally rejected because of his eternal love of the Countess. So he bought me a cappuccino instead and appointed me to be their official minion. It is the duty of the minion to rent apartments, do laundry, and bring the masters a sack with a tasty kid in it, although I never did that last part because the masters don't like kids. ‘Kayso, the vampyre Flood gave me money and I rented a trs cool loft in the SOMA (which is widely accepted to be the best ‘hood for vampyres because there's mostly new buildings and no one would suspect ancient creatures of purest evil to hang out there). But it turns out, it was like half a block from the trs cool loft in the SOMA that they already lived in. ‘Kayso, when I take the key to them, hoping they will bestow the dark gift of immortality upon me, this limo full of wasted college-age guys and a painted blue ho with ginormous fake boobs pulls up. And they're all, â€Å"Where is Flood? We need to talk to Flood. And let us in,† and other demanding shit. And I'm all, â€Å"No way, step off Smurfett. There's no one named Flood here.† I know! I was all, Oh-my-fucking-zombie-jebus-on-a-pogo-stick! She was blue! And I'm not racist, so shut up. She clearly had self-esteem issues that she compensated for with giant fake boobs, slutty blue body-paint, and doing a carload full of stoners for money. I'm not judging her by the color of her skin. Everyone copes. When I got braces I went through a Hello Kitty phase that lasted well into my fifteens, and Jared maintains that I am still perky at heart, which is not true. I am simply complex. But more about the blue hooker later, because right then the Asian guy looks at his watch and says, â€Å"Too late, it's sunset.† And they drove off. Which is when I opened the door into the stairwell to the loft and was confronted by Chet, the huge shaved vampyre cat. (Except, at the time, I didn't know his name, and he was wearing a red sweater, so I didn't know he was shaved, and he wasn't a vampyre yet. But huge.) So I'm all, â€Å"Hey, kitty, go away.† And he did, leaving only William, the huge shaved cat homeless guy, lying on the steps. I thought he was dead, because of the smell, but it turns out he was only passed out from alcohol and partially drained of blood and stuff. But I'm pretty sure he's dead now because, later, Foo and I found his stank-ass clothes on the steps of the loft, full of the gray dust that people turn to when a vampyre drains them. So upstairs I'm all, â€Å"There's a dead guy and a huge kitty in a sweater on your steps.† And the Countess and Flood are all, â€Å"Whatever.† And I'm all, â€Å"And there was a limo full of stoners here who were totally hunting you.† And they were all, â€Å"Whoa.† And they seemed more freaked out than you'd think, for ancient creatures of dark forbidden romance and whatnot. And it turns out they weren't-I mean, aren't. I mean, sure, their love is eternal, and they are creatures of unspeakable evil and stuff, but they are not ancient at all. It turns out that the vampyre Flood is only like nineteen, and he's only known the Countess for like two months. And she's only like twenty-six, which, while a little crusty, is not that ancient. And despite her advanced age, the Countess is beautiful, with long, totally natch red hair and milky skin, green eyes like emerald fire, and a smoking body that could turn a girl totally lesbo if she wasn't already a slave to the mad, man-ninja sex-fu of the delicious Foo Dog. (Foo keeps insisting that he can't be a ninja because he's Chinese and ninjas are Japanese, but he's just being stubborn and goes all Angry, Angry Asian on me whenever I bring it up.) ‘Kayso, in the master's loft I see these two bronze statues, one of this crusty businessman-looking guy, and the other looks like the Countess, except it's totally naked, or in a leotard, and bronze. And I'm all, â€Å"Exhibitionist, much, Countess? Did it come with a pole?† And she's all, â€Å"Help Tommy move furniture, Wednesday.† Like that makes any sense at all. (Turns out that Wednesday is a Gothish character from some crusty movie.) ‘Kayso, later, by virtue of my extensive research and sneaking around and whatnot, I find out that the statues aren't statues at all. That the Countess used to be inside the statue of her, and that inside the crusty businessman statue is the real ancient creature of unspeakable evil, the nosferatu that turned the Countess. And the vampyre Flood, who wasn't a vampyre at all at the time, had bronzed the two of them when they were sleeping the deep sleep of the daytime dead, which is like the deepest sleep you can get. (You should know right now, that there's no yawning, gentle drift into sleepytime for vampyres. When the sun breaks the horizon, they drop rag-doll dead on the spot, and you can pose them, paint them, put their hands on their junk and post the pics on the Web, and they won't know a thing until sundown when they come on like a light and they're wondering why their naughty bits are green and their inbox is full of propositions from elfin_love.com.) I know. Whoa! It turns out that Flood, who was known as Tommy, was chosen by the Countess as her day-minion, blood lunch, and love monkey, because he worked nights at the Safeway. Then, the old vampyre, who had turned the Countess only like a week before, started fucking with them-saying he was going to kill Tommy and generally harsh Jody's reality. ‘Kayso, Flood and his stoner Safeway night crew (called the Animals) hunted down the alpha vampyre, who was sleeping in a big yacht in the Bay, and they stole like jillions in art from the yacht and blew it up with the vampyre in it, which seriously put habaneras in his ‘tude lube, but when he came out of the water, they fucked him up a good long time with spear guns and whatnot. I know! Oh-my-fucking-god-ponies-in-the-barbecue! I know! It just goes to show you, like Lord Byron says in the poem: â€Å"Given enough weed and explosives, even a creature of most sophisticated and ancient dark power can be undone by a few stoners.† I'm paraphrasing. It may have been Shelley. ‘Kayso, the Countess saves the old vampyre from being toasted, but she promises the cops (there were these two cops) to take him away and never come back to the City, but when they go to sleep, Flood, who couldn't bear to lose Jody, took them downstairs to the biker-sculptors and had them bronzed. But when he was trying to explain to the Countess about why he did it, he drilled holes in the bronze by her ears, and she turned into mist, streamed into the room, and turned him into a vampyre. Which totally surprised him, because he didn't even know she knew how to do either of those things. (Misting and turning, I mean.) So then they're like, both vampyres, eternal in their love, but somewhat lame in their night skills. Because Jody had been feeding off of Tommy, she hadn't thought through what they would eat after Tommy turned vampyre. So, first they went to this homeless guy we'll call William the Huge Cat Guy (because that's what people call him) because he used to sit on Market Street with Chet and a sign that said, I AM POOR AND MY CAT IS HUGE. And they ended up renting the huge cat, Chet, to be their shared blood lunch. But it turned out that a large part of Chet's kitty hugeness was fur, so in order to facilitate the biting process, they shaved him. I'm just glad that I wasn't their minion yet, because I think we all know who would have ended up shaving the kitty. But no! It didn't work. I'm not sure why. But William got totally, date-rape-level hammered on the liquor he bought with the huge cat rent money, and they ended up feeding on him. Which is where I, the new princess-elect of darkness, was brought into the fold. (Into the â€Å"fold† means, like, the gang, as in gang of sheep, not fold like in what you do to T-shirts if you're a casual cotton slave at Old Navy.) It was I, who turned Tommy onto the needle exchange program, where he was able to use his pale thinness to convince them he was a junkie and get syringes so they could take William's blood and put it in the fridge for the Countess to have in her coffee. Turns out that the only way the vampyre can tolerate real food or drink is if it has a little human blood in it. (The Countess likes blood on her fries, which is at once trs cool and deeply fucked-up.) So, as soon as the Countess and Flood figured out the deal with blood and food, William the Huge Cat Guy wandered off and the Countess had to go find him, since she has more experience at hunting the night, while Flood and I moved stuff from one loft to the other. But I had to get lice shampoo for my useless little sister, Ronnie, who was plagued by vermin, and Flood sent me home early to spare me the wrath of the mother unit because he didn't want his minion on restriction. (So noble. I think that's when I fell in love with him.) Then he took the bronzed old vampyre down to the water to dump him in the Bay before the Countess got back. It was clear to me that Tommy had jealousy issues with the old vampyre, and wanted to get rid of him. Except he ran out of dark before he got to the Bay and had to leave the old vampyre sitting by the Ferry Building on the Embarcadero and run from the sun for his life. At the last minute, the Animals drive by in their limo with their stupid blue ho an d scoop the vampyre Flood off the street just before he was incinerated by the sun. I know. WTF? (FYI, when I type WTF, you are supposed to read it What the Fuck? Same with OMG, and OMFG, which are Oh My God and Oh My Fucking God. Only a completely lame Disney Channel nimnode pronounces the letters. Even BMLWA, or Bite My Lily White Ass should only be spoken as letters if you are hanging out with nuns or other people who are embarrassed about being told to bite asses.) ‘Kayso, the Animals go back to work at the Safeway, but not before they tie Flood to a bed frame, where the blue hooker tortured him to get him to turn her into a vampyre, because now she had like all the money that the Animals had gotten for the old vampyre's art, which was like six hundred thousand dollars, and she wanted to take her time spending it, so she wanted to be immortal. But Flood was like a complete vamp noob. He'd never even killed anyone and turned them to dust or anything, so he didn't know how to change someone. The Countess didn't tell him that the chosen had to drink the vampyre's blood to receive the dark gift. So the blue ho tortures the shit out of him. I know, what a bitch. Meanwhile, the Countess found the huge cat guy, and I found the lice shampoo, but we don't know where Tommy is. But the Countess was burned from going out on some hot water pipes, so she fed on me, right there in the loft, and I was all, â€Å"Oh shit, I'm going to get the dark gift and I'm, like, wearing my lime-green Chuck Taylors, which are totally not the kicks for becoming a creature of unspeakable power in.† But no, the Countess just partook of my sanguine nectar so she could heal. That's probably where I fell in love with her. Anyway, she goes asking around about Tommy, and this completely crazy homeless guy who thinks he is the Emperor of San Francisco (you see him and his two dogs in the north end of the City all the time) says that one of the Animals was asking around about Flood. So I'm all, â€Å"Uh-oh.† And the Countess is all, â€Å"Yep.† Next thing you know, we are at the Marina Safeway and the Countess-wearing her black jeans and red leather jacket, but no lipstick-underhands a steel reinforced trash can like as big as a lesbian gym teacher through the big front window, and she just walks right through the falling glass, badass as shit, into the store and starts kicking stoner ass. It was glorious. But she didn't kill anyone, which turned out to be a mistake, as was, in my humble opinion, not wearing any lipstick. For while it was a heroic ass-kicking as has ever been delivered in real life, it would have been that much cooler if she had some black lipstick on, or maybe something in a dark maroon. But they told her that Tommy was tied up at Lash's, the black guy's, apartment. And their shit was all busted up, and I was like, â€Å"You bitches have been powned!† And the Countess was like, â€Å"That's cute. Let's go get Tommy.† She can be kind of a bitch sometimes. Anyway, we go to the apartment where Tommy is being held, but when we get there, he's still tied to the bed frame, but stood up against a wall, all naked and covered in blood, even his junk. And the blue ho is dead on the floor. And I'm all, â€Å"Uh-oh.† And the Countess is all, â€Å"Yep.† And she says something about how the blue ho must have broken her neck or something, because if Tommy had drained her, she would have turned to dust and there would have been no body. Anyway, the cab ride back to the loft was trs awkward, you know, with Flood naked and covered with blood and the two of them all, â€Å"Oh I love you† and, â€Å"Oh I love you, too.† And I was being kind of a mopey little emo queen because I was jealous of both of them because they had their dark and eternal love for each other and I had like my lime-green Chucks and Jared the gay-bait rat-shagger. So that was good. The rescue and whatnot. Because we found the old vampyre art money that the Animals had paid to the blue ho, which was like a half a million dollars. But then we found out that the blue ho was not dead, but somehow had accidentally drunk some of Tommy's blood when she kissed him during his torture and now she was nosferatu. And she turned all the Animals. Which, you know, was bad. And not in the good way. And the old vampyre had somehow escaped his bronze shell, and he was coming after Tommy and Jody, and even me? He even shook the living shit out of William the Huge Cat Guy while Jared and I watched from an alley across the street. I know! We were all, â€Å"Whoa?† So it's like, Christmas night, and Jared and I are watching the midnight show of The Nightmare Before Christmas at the Metreon. And we're all traumatized and whatnot from watching the vampyre pound the huge cat guy, and the Countess calls us. And she and my Dark Lord Flood meet us for coffee at this Chinese diner, which is like the only thing open because the Chinese totally blow off Christmas because there are no dragons or firecrackers in the story. Note to self: Write narrative poem exploring Christmas if the three wise men had given baby Jesus firecrackers, a dragon, and mu-shu pork instead of that other crap. So, after all night drinking coffee laced with Jared's blood and getting the story on the old vampyre from the Countess and Flood, we go back to the loft and there, in the stairway, is the old vampyre, naked. And he's all, â€Å"I had to do some laundry. That guy peed on my tracksuit.† (He was wearing a total gangsta yellow tracksuit when we saw him shaking the huge cat guy.) So we like ran, and we had to hide my masters in some rafters under the Bay Bridge when they went out at dawn. No yawning or anything-they just became dead. Well, undead. So we wrapped them in trash bags and duct tape and moved them to Jared's basement lair in Noe Valley. (His basement lair is sacrosanct-his father and stepmother are afraid that they might walk in on him wanking to gay porn-so it was safe for the masters.) Meanwhile, I went back to the loft to feed Chet the huge shaved cat and decapitate the old vampyre with Jared's dagger so I could get extra-credit points with the masters, but it turned out that I had not calculated sundown quite right. Since when does the sun go down at like five o'clock? That's just fucking juvenile. Anyway, when I'm on the steps I hear the old vampyre moving around upstairs. And I'm all, â€Å"Awkward.† Then I hear a car pull up and I run out, right into the arms of this blond ho, who it turns out is the blue ho, who is now nosferatu, along with three of her vampyre minions who used to be the Animals. I know, â€Å"Uh-oh.† So she grabs me and is just about to tear my throat out, when the old vampyre grabs her by the neck and puts her face print in the hood of a Mercedes. He's all, â€Å"You're breaking the rules, ho. You can't just go turning people willy-nilly.† So I was doing a minor booty-dance of ownage at the blond ho, when they all turned on me. So I pull out Jared's dagger, but just the same I know they are going to have a huge group suck on my pale frame, when this totally fly, race-pimped Honda comes tearing out of the alley, and everything goes white light around the car. And my manga-haired love monkey, Foo, is totally in hero shades, and he's all, â€Å"Get in.† ‘Kayso, he swept me away in his magic nerd-chariot, which he had rigged with ultraviolet floodlights that totally toasted the vamps with simulated sunlight. I know! I'd have done him right there in the car if I was not trying to maintain my detached aura of aristocratic chill. So instead I kissed him within an inch of his life, then slapped him so he didn't think I was his personal slut, which I totally was. Would be. It turns out that Steve, which is Foo Dog's day-slave name, had totally been staking out the Countess Jody's apartment for like a month, since he figured out that she was a vampyre when some blood from one of the old vamp's victims turned up in his hemo-lab at Berkeley. Foo is like some kind of biotech ber-genius, in addition to having mad ninja-driving skills. Then Foo dropped me off at Tulley's on Market, where I met Jared and Jody, who sneaked by Jared's parents by pretending to be lovers, which is disgusting in so many ways I kind of gagged a little when I typed it. (Jared is my emergency backup BFF, but he is a pervy little rat-shagger, as the Countess affectionately refers to him.) So the Countess is all, â€Å"I'm going back to the loft to get the money.† And I'm all, â€Å"No, the old vampyre.† And she is all, â€Å"He is not the boss of me.† (Or something like that. I'm paraphrasing.) And I'm all, â€Å"Whatever, make sure you feed Chet.† So we go back to Jared's, and when we get there, the vampyre Flood is all fucked up from trying to climb face-down a building in the Castro after a delicious drag queen, like Dracula does in the book (only in the book it's not in the Castro and Dracula isn't after a drag queen). Note to self: When I am finally made nosferatu, do not try to climb face-down a wall. So then my sweet love ninja Foo shows up. And he's all, â€Å"I couldn't leave you out here, unprotected.† And secretly I was all, â€Å"You rock my stripy socks, Foo,† but publically I just kissed him and tastefully dry humped his leg a little. So we all got in his fly Honda and went back to the loft. When we got there, the second-floor windows were open, and Flood could hear that the old vampyre was up there with Jody. And Foo was all, â€Å"Let me go.† And out of the hatchback, he pulls this long duster that's covered with little glass warts. And Foo is all, â€Å"UV LEDs. Like sunlight.† The street-level fire door was locked, so Flood was all, â€Å"I'll go.† But Foo was all, â€Å"No, it will burn you.† But they covered Flood all over, gloves, hat, and a gas-mask that Foo keeps around in case of emergency biology and whatnot, then he put on the duster. Foo gave him a rubber tarp and a baseball bat, and Flood starts working the street like a half-pipe, running up a building on one side, then up the other, until he goes feetfirst through the upstairs window. Personally, I think the Countess could have just jumped up there, but she's been a vampyre longer than Flood and has better skills. ‘Kayso, there's this blinding white light from the windows, and next thing we know, the old vampyre comes crashing through the window like a flaming comet and hits the street right by us. And he gets up all blackened and snarly and whatnot, and Foo holds up his UV floodlight and he's all, â€Å"Step off, vampyre scum.† And the old vampyre ran off. Then Flood comes out the door carrying the Countess, who is looking way more dead than usual, and we took them to a motel to hide them until we could figure out what to do. Foo stole some donor blood from the lab at his college and gave it to Flood and the Countess so they could heal. And Foo's all, â€Å"You know, I've been working on the blood I found on the victims, and I think I can reverse the process. I can turn you human again.† Which is totally why he had been stalking the Countess when I met him. So Tommy and Jody were all, â€Å"We'll think about it.† ‘Kayso, Flood is holding Jody on the bed, and they're talking softly, but I can hear them, because I'm just by the door and the room's not that big. And it is clear that their love is eternal and will last for eons, but Flood doesn't like being a vampyre because the hours suck and whatnot, and Jody likes being a vampyre because of the power she feels after feeling like a little wuss-girl for many years, and they more or less say that they are going to split up just as the sun rises and they go out. And I was all, â€Å"Oh, hell no.† So I had them bronzed. I'm looking at them now. We posed them like Rodin's The Kiss and they shall be together unto the end of time, or at least until we figure out how to let them out and not have them tear out our throats and whatnot. Foo says it's cruel, but the Countess told me that they could go to mist, and when they are mist time passes like a dream and it's all good. But Foo did figure out his serum thingy. We lured the Animals to our love nest and while I was wearing the fly leather jacket that Foo made me, complete with the UV LED warts, which is very cool and cyber, I drugged them and Foo changed them back to human. And the crazy old Emperor guy said he saw three young vampyres take the old vampyre and the formerly blue ho away on a ginormous yacht, so we don't have to worry about them anymore. Foo wants to cut Flood and Jody out of the bronze statue during the day, while they are sleeping, and turn them back to human. But the Countess doesn't want that. So I think we should just wait. We have this trs cool apartment, and all of the money, and Foo almost has his master's in bio-nerdism or whatever, and I only have to go home like twice a week so the mother unit still thinks I am living there. (The key was to condition her from age twelve that sleepovers are normal. Lily, my former sleepover BFF, calls it slowly boiling the frog, which I don't know what it means, but it sounds darkly mysterious.) So, we are secure in our love nest and as soon as Foo gets home I am going to reward him with the slow booty dance of forbidden love. But something is screeching outside. BRB. Fucksocks! It's Chet the huge shaved vampyre cat, down on the street. He looks bigger, and I think he ate a meter maid. Her little cart is running and there's an empty uniform on the curb. Bad kitty! GTG L8erz.

The Military Professional Identity Is Defined Differently...

As Midshipmen at the United States Naval Academy, we are in the developmental phase on our way to become the future leaders defined as military professionals. The military professional identity is defined differently by everyone. I believe for one to embody the military professional identity, he or she has to be a leader of character and ready to defend the nation. The four years spent at the Naval Academy gives you the opportunity to develop and mold your physical, mental, and moral stature in order to embody the military professional identity that one desires or believes is right. I believe that one’s character is partially developed based on their core values. I personally embody core values such as dependability, honesty, and commitment. There are other core values that I would say are necessary in order to fit the identity as a military professional, but those three values are the ones that define me as a future leader in the military. A leader should be dependable at least. As a leader in the military, you constantly will have subordinates who are facing trials and tribulations in which they will need a leader that they can trust and depend on. That follows right into my next core value that is honesty. Being honest is the only way to really earn someone’s trust. An individual will only follow in an environment where he or she knows that the one leading them is consistently honest. This environment would include a leader that refrains from deception by lying orShow MoreRelatedOne Significant Change That Has Occurred in the World Between 1900 and 2005. 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